Mary Oliver (1935 - 2019) - The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life that you could save.

-Mary Oliver

New Year Intentions - 2019

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Right Intention

You set your intentions based on understanding what matters most to you and make a commitment to align your worldly actions with your inner values.

-Philip Moffitt


The second step on the Eightfold Path is Right Intention and is an important topic here at year’s end. Many of us review the year that has passed and tend to make resolutions and set goals for the next year. The teachings on Right Intention offers a special perspective to this process.

The teachings remind us that we must understand much more than just what we want, we must know why we want what we want.

This distinction is critical in terms of understanding the ways we cause our own suffering. We must be able to discern if our deepest core values are being served by intentions that are causing suffering or optimizing our ability to know freedom from suffering. Without this deep understanding we can so easily act unskillfully and unwisely..

Beyond our own suffering we know from the teachings that our intentions must include all beings. If our intentions are based on a belief that we are separate and autonomous as we go about living our lives, we are ignoring both the interdependent nature of all things as well as impermanent nature of existence where our actions, skillful or not, are what create the waves on the surface of the still and equanimous and already free sea of life.

Loving Kindness

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Loving Kindness

May you be safe.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you live with ease.


In the Buddhist myth of the god Brahma, Loving Kindness is seen as one of the four faces of the unencumbered and unselfish heart. Together with Compassion, Sympathetic Joy and Equanimity these are expansive and virtuous qualities of love referred to as the Divine Abodes.

Practices around these aspects of the expansive heart guide us as we cultivate their capacities. We come to understand that a deep and abiding Love doesn’t require ideal circumstances, but rather intentional living in ways that help us recognize, awaken, and develop these natural loving capacities that become our own open heart. These states were also prescribed as the antidotes to hatred and aversion. 

There are many “flavors” or aspects of the faces of love such as care, friendliness, goodwill, and benevolence. These are virtuous aspects we extend for all beings without exception. And, of course, we remember to make sure we offer ourselves the same Loving Kindness.


"Compassion is a Verb" - Thich Nhat Hanh

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Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
— Pema Chödrön

In Buddhist teachings we are encouraged to contemplate ideal, wholesome and virtuous states of the heart and mind such as Compassion. We do this to both expand our understanding of awareness and to see how our thinking mind limits our ability to experience the fullness of life as it actually is.

As we practice, we gain clarity and wisdom beyond the limitations we place on experience. We begin to relax or let go of the limitations we learned or conclusions we formed when we experienced life as separate beings. We come to know our own open heart as being the same as the universal heart we share with all beings.

Seeing all beings as expressions of the one open heart, we effortlessly know the virtuous, wise and wholesome states such as Compassion. It is in realizing the one heart and consciousness that we know each other's suffering and are moved into action to assuage it for them and for ourselves. It is this spontaneous action that Thich Nhat Hanh refers to when he says "Compassion is a verb." 

Compassion

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Have compassion for everyone you meet,
even if they don’t want it. What seems conceit,
bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign
of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen.
You do not know what wars are going on
down there where the spirit meets the bone.
— Miller Williams

Compassion has a foundational place in most spiritual traditions. In his book, "The Essence of the Heart Sutra," His Holiness the Dalai Lama describes that "in Buddhism compassion is an aspiration, a state of mind, wanting others to be free from suffering. It's not passive — it's not empathy alone — but rather an empathetic altruism that actively strives to free others from suffering. Genuine compassion must have both wisdom and lovingkindness. That is to say, one must understand the nature of the suffering from which we wish to free others (this is wisdom), and one must experience deep intimacy and empathy with other sentient beings (this is lovingkindness)."

Generosity

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Generosity is an activity that loosens us up. By offering whatever we can
– a dollar, a flower, a word of encouragement –
we are training in letting go.
— Pema Chodron

Generosity has a specific importance in Buddhist practice because it relates directly to the core idea of "letting go" of attachments. In that way cultivating a mind state of "letting go" is the practice of giving, of generosity. The Buddha often began his teachings with a discourse on this virtuous mind state to set the stage for discussions surrounding morality and meditation. 

Interestingly, in Buddhist teaching Generosity is also not about the recipient or about the benefit the recipient may gain. It is about the benefit to the giver. Putting that focus on generosity emphasizes the need to cultivate generosity as something we do as a matter of course, rather than something that we go out of our way to do intentionally. The importance of this is that a person who is giving, a person who is inclined to give, is more likely to "let go."  And, a person who is looking to let go will naturally be generous and giving, and, so we practice to cultivate this quality of mind. As we delve deeper into generosity, we also begin to see more the need to fully understand our intentions for giving, what we are giving and the recipient of our generosity so that we can support our practice with wisdom.

The Gift of Presence - the Perils of Advice (Parker Palmer for OnBeing)

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This article by Parker Palmer must be about generosity too. We get confused between generously offering our advice, opinions and suggestions and generously allowing another person to be fully present as they are. Where in the moving Venn diagram of our interactions with others is the most open centered space where all that is as it is, is allowed to be as as it is? It must be in the open heart we all share.

https://onbeing.org/blog/the-gift-of-presence-the-perils-of-advice/

Gratitude

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‘Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say.
I say that one a lot.
Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding
— Alice Walker

Gratitude is a virtue we can cultivate, but not in isolation. It has to be cultivated together with kindness. These two virtues need each other to be expressions that come from the heart, from our true selves.

Thanissaro Bhikkhu, a prominent Buddhist monk says that "if you want to be genuinely kind, you have to be of actual benefit—nobody wants to be the recipient of “help” that isn’t really helpful—and you have to provide that benefit in a way that shows respect and empathy for the other person’s needs."

He continues saying that the gift we receive in return, when we've been able to be authentically kind to another person, comes from being able to accept that others can be kind to us. And, in offering true kindness to others, we also know the effort it takes. It’s not always easy to be authentically helpful, when kind and unkind impulses may struggle in our hearts, sometimes we make sacrifices.  And, we need to trust the recipient of our kindness to make good use of the help. That means that in the end, when we are on the receiving end of kindness, we realize in our hearts there is a kind of debt of gratitude for their sacrifice and trust toward us.

Trust and courage in this intimate aware knowing that rests beyond our thoughts is where true gratitude arises.


Additional Readings

Three Gratitudes - BY CARRIE NEWCOMER - ON BEING SPECIAL CONTRIBUTOR https://bit.ly/2FvkE9m

Why a Grateful Brain Is a Giving One - The neural connection between gratitude and altruism is very deep, suggests new research.
https://bit.ly/2D2Wf63